I turn 25 in exactly... 23 days, 22 hours, and 50 minutes according to this countdown clock I quickly googled. It's strangely or, hopefully, not so strangely a weird development in my life. Though according to the Instagram and Twitter memes, I am not so alone in my feelings. I am NOWHERE near where I want to be, but adulthood has found its way to my front door, and it has a freaking key.
I honestly didn't expect myself to age past 24. I knew in reality that time continues, and of course, so do I, but I always had this hope in the back of my mind that time would stop for me. I would somehow be blessed and tormented with the angsts and freedoms of never reaching the halfway mark to 30. It feels surreal and incomplete; 25 was always an on anchored yet very unanchored event in my life. It was the age you threw around as a kid when your parents asked what you want to do when you grow up, and me being the very literal child that I was, I laid out the whole plan.
In that plan was school and jobs, but the "I want to be married with my first kid at 25" slipped in every time. Even now, I see the walls crumbling for some of my peers as they make the realization that those childhood dreams and fantasies are not really what they seem and more than likely that timeline of"I just need to meet a guy, fall in love or at least significant like, get proposed to and have one year to be just him and me before the baby comes" is not going to play out as they expected.
As a kid, 25 seemed quite honestly like the pinnacle of true adulthood and youth combined for one sweet kiss before "too old for..." became the label for any and everything that could even resemble the behavior of a recent college grad. At this point, will it even be socially acceptable to get drunk anymore at 25? Should I even care? Like yes, I know on social media the girls are throwing back shots and twerking on camera, but in the real world, how drunk can you get now before it becomes side-eyes, sipped teas, and overly disgusted pursed lips? I am trying to take 25 in stride both actively and generally, as it just happens to be that I had planned to do some things before I realized it would be accompanied by the mark of a quarter of my life. I decided to mark this Bday with a photoshoot and dinner given the pandemic and this big "life-changing" event I felt I ought to treat myself.
Though right now, I am not going to get too excited until it's actually in full throttle. I don't treat myself much, so I don't want to set my expectations too high, but with such a twanging heart event, there's no time like the present to make "half n' half" out of lemons. I am optimistic, I guess. It's a moment in time to spark self-growth and change in a life that's not guaranteed. So, I think to Bless Up to 25, and I hope it's a good year for me!
By Bree D.
Comments